


These Numbers (Technically) Don't Exist

by Arowen12



Series: Count to Ten [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: AU of an AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Gen, Meta, Multi, Original Broadway Cast, Pregnancy, Reincarnation, Show exists in verse now, Soulmates, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23776573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arowen12/pseuds/Arowen12
Summary: Extra bits that take place between Keep Counting and Count the Years that Go By, some are heartfelt, some are meta, and some are sad.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Everyone
Series: Count to Ten [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633753
Comments: 28
Kudos: 103





	1. Blow Us All Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all we’re here with another part! This part technically isn’t canon within the Count to Ten verse but are more just extras or ideas that would be cool. If there’s anything you think would be interesting be sure to let me know, currently I have four little extras planned. Anyways, read on and enjoy

X

It starts at three am Alex bolts upright scrambling out of Hercules’ embrace, pushing aside Lafayette’s clingy hands, and ignoring John’s sleep-addled questions as he stumbles to the bathroom and proceeds to throw up.

“Alex?”

John states blearily, standing in the doorway where he flicks on the lights as Alex shudders grasping the toilet with one hand and wiping at his mouth with the other. Alex inhales and reaches over to flush the toilet before he rises shakily to his feet.

“Are you feeling okay?” John asks, stepping forward to press a hand carefully to Alex’s forehead, he melts under the warmth of John’s hand for a long moment before he shakes his head fumbling around the counter for a toothbrush.

“Just felt nauseous,” Alex replies with a shrug and for the most part, it’s gone just a little twist of his stomach and the taste of bile on his tongue.

“You’re sure? This isn’t going to be another repeat of first year is it?” John demands gently, smoothing a hand down Alex’s back as he sticks a toothbrush in his mouth with a shake of his head, he’s been better and they both know it.

John sighs and when Alex is finished, he tugs him back to bed folding up against the press of his spine with his breath fanning warm on the back of Alex’s neck.

Except it keeps happening.

In the middle of a study session with Jefferson, over dinner with Eliza and Angelica, and in the middle of the night as he carefully sets his laptop down and bolts for the bathroom. That’s not even all either. He’s hungrier than usual, and he’s craving food that he’s never eaten, he resorts to stealing pieces of his friends’ lunches.

About three months into the whole thing, Alex is glaring at the mirror where below his binder he can see the swell of his stomach. He cannot be getting fat. Look, okay there’s nothing wrong with being fat, he put on his fair share of weight in his past life. But! He’s too young, and he has a reputation to maintain here.

Unsurprisingly, it’s Eliza who figures it out. They’re all in the girls’ dorm room watching Legally Blond when Alex once more feels that twist of nausea and darts towards the washroom to once more empty his guts. He stumbles back into the living room with a groan and flops over John’s lap.

“Alex,” Eliza begins and he tilts his head to stare at her lovely visage, she has a thoughtful expression and the attention of the room as she continues, “How long has this been going on?”

“Like three months maybe,” Alex replies with a shrug and settles at the feel of John’s fingers combing through his hair.

“Oh my God,” Eliza states suddenly in realisation and the whole room freezes for a long moment before she adds, “You’re pregnant.”

“What?” Alex replies eloquently in the sudden silence staring for a long moment at Eliza before he glances down at his stomach. He opens his mouth to protest but quickly shuts it because it makes sense and if we’re being honest here Alexander knew already but was in denial; he had eight children he knows what pregnancy looks like.

“No way,” Jefferson states picking his jaw up off the floor and his words spur the others into action. Lafayette is staring at Alex with huge eyes and Hercules beside them has his hands clenched into a fist and is staring at Alex like he’s something dangerous or precious.

Marty sitting beside Jefferson looks equally surprised and Dolly is doing her best to calm Madison, who’s under the weather again and looking like he might faint. Angelica has her hands clapped over her mouth and Eliza beside her looks like she might cry. Peggy and Maria are holding hands, Maria is staring at him with surprise and Peggy beside her looks like they might combust from happiness.

“Wait, who’s the father?” John asks and the room pauses as Alex glances at his chest with a brilliant blush.

“Uh, hard to tell?” Alex replies with a shrug because he has ten soulmates, eight of who are very much into spending time together intimately and are all also insanely attractive and if we’re being honest Alex has always been a bit of a slut.

“What about protection?” Angelica asks with a frown back to being the concerned older sister.

“We assumed now that I’m on T it would be fine,” Alex replies hesitantly, he feels like his face is on fire, firmly not looking at any of his Soulmates and instead studies his hands.

“Didn’t your…?” Angelica begins before she sighs and continues, “You know what never mind, are you sure you don’t know who the father is?”

“I can tell you who its definitely not?” Alex replies with a shrug and the ticking of his fingers he adds, “Definitely not Washington, Peggy, Maria, Angelica, or Marty, oh or Theo.”

“Alex that still leaves eight people,” Hercules says with a heavy sigh and Alex shrugs helplessly. Look it’s sort of, mostly, not his fault that he loves his Soulmates so much and so often and that they thought they were fine.

“Are you going to get an abortion?” Maria asks gently her hands hovering over her own stomach, she’s had one and she doesn’t regret it but she also doesn’t talk about it. Alex has been trying not to think about the fact that he’s pregnant because doing so kind of makes him feel like he’s six and watching the boys play, it makes him feel like he’s not in the right body because a man’s body does not give birth.

And yet. Alex glances down at his stomach, he’s carrying one of his Soulmates’ child (he’s almost relieved they don’t know the father if it means he gets to make the decision on his own). Maybe it’s old fashioned, maybe he’s being an idiot by thinking about carrying to term during the school year, but a part of him wants to keep the child.

“You don’t have to decide tonight Alex,” Eliza states reaching over to run her fingers gently over his arm as she smiles at him.

“Whatever you choose,” John begins wrapping an arm around Alex’s shoulder he continues, “Will not make you any less of a man in our eyes.”

“So, who’s going to tell Washington?” Alex asks with a huff wiping at his eyes and earning a few dubious looks. Alex pouts, traitors the lot of them and leans against John as someone presses play on the movie.

Washington’s opens the door after class with a raised brow but waves Alex inside with a warm smile that settles Alex’s shoulders as he sprawls across one of the man’s chairs. Washington shakes his head indulgently and settles at his desk asking, “What can I help you with Alexander?”

He inhales shakily glancing around the office for a long moment, reading the titles of the books on the shelves, the little knick-knacks scattered about until Washington coughs and he feels his eyes drawn back to him.

“I’m pregnant,” Alex states tugging on the long sleeves of his shirt and resisting the urge to flee while he still has the chance.

“Pardon?” Washington asks staring at Alex with wide eyes, more shocked than he’s ever seen the man before.

“I’m pregnant, we don’t know who the father is, it’s one of my Soulmates though,” Alex adds staring past Washington’s shaved head to the painting on the wall behind him. Washington opens and closes his mouth for a long moment.

“Congratulations Alex. Are you going to keep the baby?” Washington finally says staring at him with soft eyes.

“I think so, everyone’s volunteered to help; a sort of shared custody,” Alex replies with a shrug of his shoulders thinking fondly of everyone discussing who would care for the baby when, potential baby names, and parenting styles. Alex still strongly feels that he and Eliza have the most experience with children so everyone else is naturally playing second fiddle.

“That’s good, Martha will want to throw a baby shower,” Washington states and he still looks a mix of confused and surprised like he’s been told the British have surrendered unconditionally out of the blue.

“Oh God,” Alexander groans because he hasn’t quite gotten that far in his contemplation of the next few months, it’s all about the baby steps (ha). Washington shakes his head with an amused smile and that won’t do.

“You’re going to be a Grandfather, and the kid’s going to have so many Uncles, Aunts, and I think Peggy’s claimed the title of Ankle,” Alex replies and watches Washington’s expression twist with no small amount of terror, serves him right.

“I suppose it will be nice to have a child around,” Washington says with a sigh after an extended silence. Alex pointedly doesn’t mention that one child let alone eight is more than enough work which Washington has obviously never experienced.

Rising to his feet Alex calls over his shoulder, “Tell Martha no gender-reveal cake please.”

He doesn’t stay to hear Washington’s answer.

By about the seventh month Alex is tired of the whole pregnancy thing. He’s consumed endless amounts of parenting books, books about babies, and books about politics on the side. It feels almost like the baby is a new job he is preparing for except it’s a lifelong commitment.

He goes to the doctors with a revolving rotation of his Soulmates but its mostly Eliza and Angelica who are the most familiar with the whole process. And, okay, Alex will admit that the cravings aren’t that bad when everyone’s willing to supply him with endless snacks, he’s gotten more foot rubs in the past few months then he has _ever_ , and okay maybe he has to just stop every once and a while and feel the baby kick.

But, and there’s a very big but there, namely his. Dysphoria is also a thing when he can’t wear his binders anymore or when he glances down and can only see the swell of his stomach and not the body, he worked so hard to shape, his body.

“I look like a beached whale,” Alex moans flopped over Aaron’s lap as he carefully combs his hair. He shifts so his huge stomach isn’t quite so uncomfortable and listens to the rich sound of Aaron chuckle above him.

“I think you look gorgeous,” Aaron states and Alex opens his mouth to protest only for Aaron to shake his head and press a finger to Alex’s mouth, he’s tempted to bite him but doesn’t as Aaron continues, “It’s true, the others think so too.”

Alex levels him with a dubious stare which turns into a glare when Aaron threatens to stop running his fingers through Alex’s hair. Aaron sighs glancing over at Theodosia, who is typing on her laptop ignoring both of them.

“You practically glow Alex-“

“Hormones and oily skin,” Alex interrupts with a pout and Aaron chuckles stroking a thumb soothingly over his cheek.

“Your body Alex, God you’re beautiful,” Aaron states sliding his fingers feather-light across Alex’s spine before he continues, “You’re bringing life into the world, that’s beautiful.”

“My bladder has shrunken, I’m cranky all the time, and I get weird cravings there’s nothing beautiful about that,” Alex grunts burrowing his head further in Aaron’s lap so he doesn’t have to see Aaron rolling his eyes.

Aaron yanks lightly on Alex’s hair and says, “That’s normal and just think in a couple of months we’ll get to find out who the father is.”

“Probably,” Alex replies petulantly and turns so he can peer up at Aaron as he adds, “We might not know, till the baby is at least a few years old. Is there still a betting pool?”

“That’s true, but most of us look very different to each other,” Aaron replies glancing fondly down at Alex before he continues, “Yes there is. Currently, everyone is betting on John because if the baby has freckles, it will be undeniable.”

Alex huffs and says with a grin, “What if it’s Dolly’s? That would be hilarious. Or Jefferson, imagine him being a parent.”

“At least you’re able to find some humour in the situation, Alex,” Aaron says with a shake of his head and leans over to press a kiss to his head.

“Should I focus on the zillion baby names Angelica and Peggy are pushing on me instead?” Alex asks and resolutely doesn’t think of the lists, so many lists, of names. He’s thinking if it’s a girl Racheal and if it’s a boy George, that way no feelings are hurt.

“I have been dragged on ten different shopping trips Alex,” Aaron states in a commiserating tone and Alex just hums in agreement and lets the soft press of Aaron’s fingers through his hair soothe him to sleep.

His water breaks a few months later during breakfast while he’s munching on a croissant. He glances across the table to John with wide eyes and says, “I think my water just broke.”

John freezes for a long moment and there’s the sound of Laf swearing in the background before John says, “Okay, uh let’s get the car, Herc can you call the others?”

Everything is a bit of a blur after that, the drive to the hospital as the contractions slowly start, Laf humming along jauntily to whatever’s on the radio as Herc speaks to the others and John drives as if into battle

The hospital is a rush of people and the sharp sickle smell of antiseptic and it rubs at Alex’s nerves like a blister on his heel as he is settled in a room and Hercules dutifully times the contractions. Alex grits his teeth through another wave of pain and says, “This is really happening isn’t it?”

“You are just realising it _now_ Alex?” John demands he looks pale as a sheet where he’s gripping Alex’s hand. He shrugs because it’s honestly a bit of both, the concept of a baby was abstract even when he could feel it kick.

The contractions increase and well you get the rest.

After Alex cradles the baby to his chest, stroking his fingers over her fine downy hair. She stares up at him, dark eyes and a smattering of freckles dotting her face. She’s beautiful, and Alex has held his children before, God he remembers when he first held Philip, but there is something else to holding this child he welcomed into the world.

A nurse enters and smiles softly as she says, “Your Soulmates are here, quite a few of them, would you like for me to let them in?”

“Yes, thank you,” Alex states staring into the baby’s eyes as the door clicks shut. A moment later, it opens and he can hear the hum of his family’s chatter and he glances up as Eliza settles on the bed beside him trailing a gentle finger over the baby’s downy hair.

“It’s John’s,” She calls over her shoulder to a smattering of cheers and groans. Alex shakes his head with a grin as he sees Jefferson pass Marty money along with Peggy who grins and collects their due.

John approaches the hospital bed carefully and stares at her with wide eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks. Alex tangles his hand gently with John’s and guides him to carefully touch her hair.

“I’ll be there,” John promises leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead. Alex grins and presses his head to John’s earning a few cooing sounds from the rest of his family.

“So, what’s her name?” Angelica asks and Alex glances down at her for a long moment.

“Rachel,” Alex says softly and leans against Eliza.

“Welcome to the world Rachel,” Angelica says with a smile pressing a kiss to Alex’s forehead before with a shake of her head she ushers the others out, they can have time with the baby later. Alex grins down at his kid and presses a kiss to her forehead.

“Welcome home.”

X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter I just couldn't get this idea out of my head. The next chapter is either going to deal with Hamilton (the musical) in this verse or something kind of sad. Anyways, comments are always appreciated, till next time!


	2. Oh Haven't You Heard?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, we are here with the next chapter! A huge thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter. This one is kind of Meta and takes place around their last year of university while they’re still for the most part unknown. Also, if someone wants to help me do the twitter format please, I’m scared looking at it. Read on and enjoy!

X

He first sees it when he’s scrolling through Twitter a video from a few years ago that’s popped up on his feed of some dude named Lin Manuel Miranda singing about him. Alex is curled up against Eliza’s side as she works on an essay, Hercules and John are slow dancing in the kitchen, and Laf and Angelica are talking about the recent trade agreement.

Alex shrugs and plays the video, the man, Miranda has a nice voice and Alex likes rap, likes the idea of fitting as many words as you can into as little time as possible; it has been widely speculated that he would be excellent at it. The crowd laughs when he says Alex’s name but Alex feels dumbstruck, awed.

“Are you watching that video from like 2009?” John asks popping his head in from the kitchen Hercules’ arm wrapped around his waist. Alex nods and Eliza glances away from her laptop to watch the video for a moment.

“Have you listened to the musical yet?” Eliza asks, brushing her fingers through his hair and he practically purrs under the attention.

“There’s a musical?” Alex asks a second later when he processes the question properly. The room stills and he can feel everyone’s eyes on him.

“Have you been living under a rock Alex?” Hercules asks with a raised brow staring at him like he’s almost disappointed Alex hasn’t heard of the musical, whatever it is.

“I’ve been busy,” Alex states with a shrug and pouts when Eliza snatches his phone out of his hands and types something into the search bar.

“I can’t believe you haven’t heard of this, you’re on social media more then all of us combined,” Angelica adds with a disbelieving shake of her head as the others crowd onto the couch beside him to peer at his phone.

“Oui, but he has been to busy fighting other people,” Laf says with a shake of their head and Alex puffs up for a moment before his attention is glued to the video, which is grainy and a horrible quality overall. He watches as a man with dark skin stands on stage singing.

“Is that supposed to be Burr?” Alex questions his mind kind of blown as he watches other actors step on stage in white clothing reminiscent of what they would have worn. He listens to the lyrics, really listens as they talk about his life story.

Then a man steps forward and says, “My name is Alexander Hamilton,” and Alex has to pause the video for a moment staring with wide eyes at the grainy video.

“I can’t believe you haven’t heard of it,” John states with a shake of his head.

“They wrote a musical about me?” Alex asks and he still can’t quite believe the words, can’t believe what he’s seeing even though its there in front of him.

“A highly successful one too, it won its fair share of Grammys,” Angelica adds with a smile and Alex has to take a moment and lean back against the couch.

“And you all knew about this?” Alex asks glancing at his Soulmates with wide eyes, he’s not quite hurt but he’s a bit stunned. Hercules frowns ruffling a hand through Alex’s hair with a fond shake of his head.

“We’ve been making references for the past year, we all assumed you knew about it,” Hercules says with a shrug and Alex can’t help but frown.

John sighs pressing play on the video as he states, “That was obviously a mistake, if you had seen it you would have been singing it all the time.”

“That’s true,” Laf adds with a shake of their hand watching as the man who plays Alex walks around the stage singing about how there’s a million things he hasn’t done.

“Is the show still running?” Alex asks as the video stops and he glances at Eliza with pouty eyes.

“Of course it only came out like in the last year,” Eliza states and pats his cheek as she adds, “We can watch the bootleg later, I have an essay to finish, but you can listen to the soundtrack I think it’s on my phone.”

“Before you ask it’ll be impossible to get tickets, it’s the hottest show of the year,” John adds as he retreats back towards the kitchen tugging Hercules with him. Alex sighs but gratefully accepts Eliza’s phone and earbuds. He settles against her side and presses play.

The first time Alex listens to it he’s speechless, he sits there curled against Eliza and listens as the story of his life unfolds before him. Having King George there is weird but also bizarrely hilarious in a non-sensical sort of way. There are inaccuracies of course there are, but the depth and care with which they handle his life, the lives of those around him, stuns him and leaves him helpless but to listen. He cries when Philip dies (he’ll cry every time), the tears falling down his cheeks and when the duel, his duel with Burr occurs he has to pause the music and suck in a few heaving gasps.

Eliza notices and wraps her arm around him, wipes away his cheers and adds softly, “There’s a few cut tracks that you’ll like, Angelica’s favourite is Congratulations, and a few that are going to make you cry.”

“Thanks,” Alex murmurs into the soft skin of her arm and presses play.

The last song hurts, buries itself deep inside his chest and for a moment he’s no longer in their dorm wrapped in Eliza’s arms, he’s in Weehawken, then in the room where he died holding Eliza’s hand as she silently promises to secure his legacy. She did it on her own for so long and Alex’s chest is tight with emotion, so tight it’s overflowing and he has to bury his head against the couch to hide the tears.

The second time Alex listens to the musical, he enjoys the music, the instrumentals, the rap (oh my God the rap), the more classic show tunes, the ensemble, the vocals. Alex absorbs it all as he scrolls listlessly through Twitter for two and a half hours.

The third time Alex listens to the musical, he hears the story, his story yes, but also the story Miranda crafts that is almost Shakespearian in level (and every inaccuracy makes sense when viewed through the story) the way the reprises connect from the beginning to the end, the way in the musical Hamilton and Burr are mirrors of each other and at the end they become each other, the character arcs, the seemingly throw-away lines that have so many different interpretations or historical connections (‘Laurens I like you a lot’ is confirmed to connect to _those_ letters and Alex grins every time he hears it).

After that, he listens to the cut tracks and the mix-tape. Congratulations is vicious and Angelica deserves nothing less, the Dear Theodosia Reprise sends him across campus into the middle of Aaron’s class where he proceeds to hug him for a solid five minutes straight. He listens to Ten Things One Thing, only once and needs to be alone for the rest of the day because Miranda has seen straight into soul and it is as if he’s there in that moment once more. He sings the John Adams’ rap until he knows the lyrics and then when Adams does something particularly stupid during debate club, he sings it at him; it’s glorious.

Two weeks later he’s on Twitter arguing with someone about the Right to Bear Arms when Lin Manuel Miranda pops up in his feed. His fingers move before he really thinks about it as he tweets:

@Lin_Manuel _how about tickets for the verified Alexander Hamilton and co.? #Ham4Ham #SitdownJohn #TheRealSlimShady_

Alex forgets about it for a few days as he hunkers down to work on his thesis and the piece for the Times that he’s co-writing with Maria. That is until, Peggy flounces into their dorm plasters themselves over Alex and says, “Have you checked Twitter lately?”

“No, I’m on a social media ban until I apologise to the Fox News Twitter,” Alex replies with a pout setting his laptop down and stretching out his neck.

“So, never?”

“Unfortunately,” Alex replies with a pout and can’t stop his eyes from gluing themselves to the screen as Peggy pulls out their phone and shows him a news article which reads _Alexander Hamilton Wants to see Hamilton?_

“Oh,” Alex states eloquently.

“Yeah, Miranda also tweeted back,” Peggy adds and scrolls through Twitter for a moment before they show him their phone.

@TheRL_Hamilton _I’d like to see how we measure up, who else should we expect? #ItsHappening #BestDayOfMyLife #Hamilton_

“Can I borrow your phone?” Alex asks with his best puppy dog eyes, Peggy stares at him for a long moment before they nod and pass it over, he adds, “Thank you so much, you are a deity that graces our mortal presences also please don’t tell Eliza.”

“I’m not telling if you’re not but if she finds out don’t throw me under the bus kay?” Peggy states and Alex nods with a blinding grin as he logs into his Twitter.

@Lin_Manuel _So far, I’m impressed. Why don’t you come and meet them all? #WomenintheSequel #Hamilton #NoKingGeorgeThanks_

The reply comes two minutes later.

@TheRL_Hamilton _Yes! Let’s do it. #IsThisReallyHappening #HamiltonMeetHamilton #SpidermanMeme_

A moment later he gets a private message from Miranda about a time and a place. Alex pulls out his own phone as Peggy leans over his shoulder to read. He sends a text to the groupchat about availability, he doesn’t say what its for, just that its important. They arrange the venue, the menu, the seating.

They pick a park, out of the way and not too noticeable, the sky is a boundless blue with puffy clouds and Alex can’t stop beaming as Laf pouts about grass stains on their white sneakers. Dolly is carrying a picknick basket and beside her Peggy and Maria are carrying a stack of Tupperware with all kinds of baked goods.

They all settle at a few picnic benches and Alex can see them all throwing him suspicious glances because he still hasn’t told them why they’re there. Alex just searches the park for a long moment as he sips at a bottle of lemonade.

Miranda appears in a sweater with his long hair tied back, he’s got bags under his eyes that Alex can see from where he’s sitting as the man’s eyes scan the park. Alex grins and stands up waving his hand till Miranda notices him and jogs over.

“Oh my God you’re not white,” Miranda says delighted and then kind of pauses realising what he’s said, Alex just grins and he can see that everyone’s attention is riveted on them as Miranda continues, “Sorry that’s kind of inappropriate, Lin Manuel Miranda, call me Lin nice to meet you in person.”

“Alexander Hamilton, call me Alex, and no worries, it was a bit of a surprise at first too,” Alex replies with a grin and glances over his shoulder at everyone who is staring; he grins at them and turns back to Lin.

“Oh my God, this is like so great to meet you all,” Lin says glancing past Alex where Dolly is handing out sandwiches that are a mix of Egyptian and American cuisine, Alex doesn’t question it he just enjoys it.

“Here let me introduce everyone, these two lovely ladies are Angelica and Eliza, our friends with the Tupperware are Maria Clements and Peggy Schuyler, Dolly Madison is handing out our delicious lunch which was the only way I blackmailed everyone into coming, Martha Wayles but we call her Marty, Jefferson and Madison are the ones who are sitting in the shade because Madison suffers from every known affliction to man, Washington and Martha are chilling on the bench over there. The Marquis de Lafayette is sitting on that bench there, don’t mention their hair today, Hercules is on their left and John Laurens is on their right. Aaron is sitting with Theo on the grass and pretending they’re not talking about anime again. Everyone, this is Lin Manuel Miranda who wrote Hamilton.”

There’s silence for a long moment as Alex takes a sip of his lemonade and accepts a cookie from Maria with a nod of thanks. Lin’s eyes rove over everyone like a man who has been shown what lies beyond the pearly white gates.

“This is amazing oh my God,” Lin says breathlessly and Alex shakes his head and places a bottle of lemonade in the man’s hands and directs him to a picnic table, they settle across from Angelica and Eliza, the others can speak to him later.

“Thank you so much,” Eliza states quietly reaching out to carefully lay her hand over Lin’s. He makes a choked noise before he nods and his eyes look suspiciously wet.

“Wow, I just wow I never thought I would be able to meet any of you, much less all of you,” Lin states glancing around the park once more.

Alex laughs and with a shrug replies, “We didn’t really expect it either, it all just sort of happened.”

“So, what do you think of it?” Lin asks glancing away for a moment with an obvious expression of nervousness that manifests in twitching fingers and his attempts to peel the label off the lemonade bottle.

“It’s amazing,” Alex states with a warm smile and when he has Lin’s attention he continues, “I understand why you changed what you did, but it’s also just an amazing musical. And I have to thank you, you’re the reason that people care about us,” Lin opens his mouth to protest and Alex continues, “Sure they learned about us but they didn’t care, now they see as humans, you brought history to life.”

Lin leans back for a moment his mouth opening and closing before he states, “I-I had to, I read that biography and I saw so many things similar to today, a story that we needed.”

“We’re glad you did,” Angelica says with a charming smile as she passes a plate to Eliza who nods in thanks.

“Okay, I have to ask, how many Soulmates do you have?” Lin questions almost bouncing in his seat like a little kid or a puppy. Alex shakes his head with a grin and rolls up his sleeves showing his forearms to the man.

Lin looks awestruck and reaches out hesitant to touch until Alex nods and he trails his fingers gently over the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, all of his soul marks stark in the pleasant sunlight.

“Amazing,” Lin finally breathes and glances up at Alex with a beaming smile before he adds, “So, what do you think of the twenty-first-century?”

“There’s a lot of problems, but there’s also so much good. We’re all collectively trying to convince Washington to run for President in a few years,” Alex replies swirling the liquid in his bottle as he nods his head where Washington is sitting with Martha curled against his side.

“That would be fantastic!” Lin exclaims again reminding Alex slightly of a child, Lin tilts his head studying Alex for a moment before he asks, “Are you hoping to fill a cabinet position again?”

“Yes, unfortunately, I can’t be President in this life,” Alex states with a shrug and then adds, “Immigrant from the Caribbean again, fate has it out for me.”

“Wasn’t there a –“

“Hurricane? Yep,” Alex replies and Lin winces in sympathy and takes a sip of his lemonade. Alex shrugs in a _what can you do_ sort of manner and glances at Eliza who is speaking softly with Angelica.

“If you don’t mind, I have a few questions?” Lin says staring earnestly across the small space between them.

“Sure, I don’t suppose you brought tickets to a show?” Alex says with a grin and pleading expression. Lin shakes his head his long hair moving with the motion as he digs through his pockets and pulls out an envelope.

“There are a few extra tickets, I think. There’s also a pass for you all to come backstage and meet the others,” Lin passes the envelope into Alex’s hands, he accepts it with a grin and passes it to Angelica.

“Fire away.”

Lin has a lot of questions but Alex doesn’t mind answering them as the others chat and eat around them. Eventually, Alex manages to introduce Lin to the others, he squeaks when he’s introduced to Washington, when he’s introduced to Jefferson he stares for a long moment before he says, “The actor who plays you is mixed.”

“Good,” Jefferson says with a smile and Lin’s face lights up as Jefferson glances at his arm and adds, “This life certainly changed my perspective. I like the magenta coat, it’s a nice touch.”

Maria and Peggy are both pleasant to Lin, Marty and Dolly both talk about the portrayal of their husbands for a few moments with Lin before Alex leads him towards Aaron, who is leaning against a tree with Theo at his side. She notices them first and presses a kiss to Aaron’s cheek and then Alex’s before going to find Eliza.

“You must be Lin,” Aaron states rising to his feet to shake the man’s hands before he adds softly, “Thank you, you didn’t have to depict me the way you did.”

“Everyone has flaws and faults,” Lin states and his expression is tender, kind, and Aaron smiles. Alex leaves them to talk for a few moments as he settles back on the bench and steals a cookie from Angelica.

A few minutes later Lin settles on the bench beside him and Alex grins and can’t help but add, “I’m trans, so is Eliza and Dolly, Peggy and Laf are both Non-binary and we’re all in a Poly relationship.”

Lin gawks for a moment before the expression shifts into a grin, almost proud, and he says, “I’m glad you all are here.”

“So, are we.”

The show is a week later and they all dress up and crowd into Laf and Washington’s cars for the drive to the theatre. The whole time Alex refuses to play anything other than the musical even on pain of death and he knows he can’t stop beaming but he can’t help it okay?

The theatre is only slightly crowded with how early they all are and Alex sends a text to Lin who appears a few moment later with a grin half in costume with his hair pulled back. He leads them into the back of the theatre and to the dressing rooms talking all the while about writing the musical like it’s a tour.

There’s a green room of sorts with more than a few cast members inside and Lin grins at them all like a kid with a surprise as he steps inside and announces, “Today we have some very special guests, debatably more important than the President, well a few of them _were_ the President. Alexander Hamilton is here.”

There’s silence for a long moment before the cast breaks out into a cacophony of noise. Alex grins as Lin leads them inside and begins the introductions once more, “This here is our wonderful Angelica, Rene Elise Goldberry, the darling Phillipa Soo as Eliza, Jasmine Cephas Jones as Maria and Peggy, Daveed Diggs as our Marquis and Jefferson, Okieriete Onaodowan but we just call him Oak as Hercules and Madison, Anthony Ramos as John Laurens and Philip, Chris Jackson as Washington, the one the only Leslie Odom Jr. as Aaron Burr, and Jonathan Groff isn’t here but he plays the King. We also have some of our ensemble, Betsey, Thayne, Sasha, and Sydney. Everyone…”

Alex tunes out the rest of the introductions studying the actors who all look awestruck and Alex can understand, he would be a bit starstruck too. The others filter into the room once Lin finishes introductions and Alex let’s Lin lead him towards who he thinks is Aaron’s actor, Leslie.

“Nice to meet you,” Leslie greets with a charming grin and Alex can’t help but smile and reach out to shake the man’s hand.

“And you as well, you do a wonderful job portraying Aaron,” Alex states and glances at Aaron who presses a kiss to his cheek and reaches out to shake Leslie’s hand. Leslie’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he observes their interaction.

“We’ve all had a second chance,” Aaron says quietly in answer to the unspoken question and Alex steps back and let’s the two speak alone as he observes the others. He can see Jefferson and Laf cornering their actor, Peggy and Maria are talking to Jasmine with matching grins, Eliza, Angelica, and their actors are all studying Alex and Lin with knowing looks which he should be offended at but isn’t. Dolly, Marty, and Madison are speaking to the ensemble cast and Madison’s actor, John and his actor are speaking softly, they’re also glancing at Alex. Washington and his actor are speaking (the poor man looks stunned).

“Thank you,” Lin says quietly surveying the room with warm eyes.

“Anytime.”

A short time later, too short by far, they are regretfully ushered away so that the actors actually have time to get dressed. Alex settles in his seat and peers at the Playbill as Jefferson settles beside him and Eliza on his other side.

A voice in a British accent announces the show is starting and Alex lets the music wash over him.

X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, again kind of meta, also I know that technically in this verse Congratulations wouldn’t exist because Alex never cheats but we’re just going to ignore that for fanfiction’s sake. Anyways, comments are always super appreciated y’all till next time!


	3. I'll See You On the Other Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, we are here with another chapter! This one kind of explores an idea I had while writing the last chapter of Keep Counting in regards to Burr and what he would do to make it up to Hamilton, this would theoretically take place around Count the Years that Go By. Anyways, warning for a shooting but no character death, read on!

X

They’re at a gala of some sort, some fancy senator’s home with men and women (and others) all dressed up in expensive suits, dresses, and jewels. Alex hates it, he wants to sulk into the soup they had for dinner but instead resigns himself to bouncing light off Jefferson’s face using his spoon.

Aaron glances at him with a knowing look and Alex subsides with a sigh desperately wishing he could have dragged Angelica to the event if only so they could both mock the current speaker who has lost their train of thought roughly six times. Alas, Angelica is at another engagement with Eliza which leaves Alex alone. Well, he’s not technically alone, but it’s the thought that counts.

There are only a few more hours and then he can go home, maybe with Jefferson or Aaron, and strip off his suit which itches around the neck and the shoes that pinch his toes. He can fall into bed and pretend that the whole night never happened.

He doesn’t hate the galas. They’re just the sort of mind-numbingly boring event full of ass-kissing that he experienced more than enough of in his first life. The only difference is that they’re not charming senators for more money for the war but rather for education or to support one of their other policies.

The speaker finishes and the host for the evening steps up to introduce yet another benefactor of some sort.

That’s when it all goes to shit.

The first thing his brain registers is the sound of glass shattering as he ducks under the table, sees Jefferson and Aaron do the same. Alex’s chest is tight as he glances around the room, people are screaming, and there are men in black outfits holding guns.

A Secret Service member clasps their hand gently around Alex’s arm and murmurs, “Mr. Vice President we need to leave.”

Alex can see a few of the other agents near Thomas and Aaron. Alex inhales reaching for the gun which he only keeps because he’s a tiny bit paranoid and nods. The agent jerks Alex forward with a nod and they’re running darting between tables as quietly as possible.

He can hear the sound of gunfire loud, too loud, in the interior of the building and the intruders are shouting something about demands maybe. Alex doesn’t care, he just has to survive, he can’t let it end here, can’t do that to his Soulmates.

They pause behind a table Alex gasping for breath as he peers around a wooden chair, there’s no one blocking the exits technically just the intruders watching with their guns. Alex glances back and can see Thomas and Aaron crouched together a few agents almost surrounding them.

The agent at his side raises his gun and fires once, twice, the sound deafening so close and prompting a round of bullets as the intruders near the doors slump. Alex is moving before he is really thinking about, running on instinct like it’s Yorktown, Brandywine, any battle.

They clatter out into the hallways and Alex spares a thought for the others trapped inside, prays that the military or whoever is being sent to deal with it will arrive quickly. In the meantime, he lets the agent at his side usher him down a small side hallway probably used for servants.

A few seconds later Thomas and Aaron stumble into the hallway, Aaron moves quietly, holding his own gun, Thomas looks less put together and is gasping for breath but Alex can’t quite blame him. He shares a glance with Aaron as their security force ushers them down the hallway speaking in harsh whispers into their comms.

“Any idea who’s behind it?” Alex whispers to Aaron as they round a corner, the sound of gunshots have quieted and all Alex can hear is the sound of air rushing noisily from his lips and the thudding of his heart in his chest.

“Could be anyone, extremists, terrorists,” Thomas drawls, his hands are clenched into fists and he’s pale, the curls of his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. Alex frowns but nods in agreement supposing that they’ll find out at the briefing tomorrow if they live to see it.

“Just one gala that ended normally would be nice,” Alex says quietly, the last one had a poison attempt on the President, the one before that there was an incident with faulty lighting, and the one before that he had to leave early because Marty got into a car accident (she was fine) and Thomas was a mess.

Aaron huffs softly as they round a corner. There are a few intruders milling around the back exit and everyone freezes for one comical moment before the agents raise their guns and bullets are filling the air. Alex tugs Thomas and Aaron down towards the ground as the agents form a shield. Alex glances sharply over his shoulder for enemies from behind but there’s nothing.

One of the agents crumples and Alex sucks in a breath as Thomas makes a hurt sound beside him.

Finally, the hallway falls quiet and an agent offers Alex a hand, he takes it as Aaron and Jefferson rise to their feet beside him. He observes the bodies on the ground for a long moment before the sound of footsteps makes themselves known.

Alex turns, slow too slow by far.

He hears Aaron’s voice, “Alex.”

He watches as if in slow motion as Aaron pushes him out of the way and a bullet finds a path towards his body. The gunman is down before the words even leave Aaron’s lips but its too late as he sinks to his knees pressing a hand to Aaron’s gut where red is staining the white of his shirt.

“Fuck,” Alex murmurs as one of the agent's updates the situation calling for medical aid, another passes Alex gauze and he presses it to the wound as Thomas kneels on the other side of Aaron holding his hand with wide eyes.

“Guess we’re even now, huh?” Aaron coughs and oh God there’s blood on his lips, and he looks pale face gritted with pain. Alex shakes his head tears burning his eyes as he keeps even pressure on the wound tries to remember what John’s told him about gut wounds and God this would be easier if it was a knife (keep it in the wound cork on a bottle all that).

“You’re an idiot,” Alex murmurs his voice tender and he’s staring into Aaron’s eyes, can’t stop staring.

“Mr. Vice President medical aid should be here in one minute,” an agent says and Alex nods never glancing away from Aaron, part of him wants to rest one finger on his pulse just to feel it, wants to listen the exhale and inhale of his breath. He keeps applying pressure and his hands are covered in Aaron’s blood and he can’t quite breathe.

He counts the seconds.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Again.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Again.

The doors burst open, and a few paramedics rush in with a stretcher as the Secret Service agents cover their retreat. The paramedics move Aaron’s body onto the stretcher, he groans in pain and Alex’s hands are covered in his blood, and he feels frozen, stuck to the ground. He can feel the bullet in his gut, the hot-cold touch of pain, the fear.

Thomas tugs him onto his feet and out of the building onto perfectly manicured grass. It’s quiet with the soft dusk of the evening and the distant sounds of the city and it feels wrong as he watches the paramedics load Aaron into the ambulance. The doors shut and Alex sucks in a sharp gasp wondering if this will be the last time, the last time he’ll see Aaron.

“Come on,” Thomas says gently and tugs him towards one of the armoured cars. Alexander follows in a daze, the world seems to blur as he focuses on his connection to Aaron on the pain biting into his gut, alive, still alive.

The car lurches into motion and one of the agents passes Thomas a phone which he takes with a rough inhale and begins to speak reporting what happened. Alex listens, well he hears the words but can’t process them and he knows he’s in shock, the world moving too slow and fast all at once.

They file out of the car and into one of the safehouses and Alex flops onto the couch, focuses on Aaron alive and lets an agent with a kind face wrap a blanket around his shoulders. Thomas thrusts a mug of tea into his hands and settles beside him.

“Alex?”

He can’t stop staring at the tv which isn’t on, just a dull black screen and thinking about Aaron’s face screwed up in pain, the blood staining his shirt red _, so much red_. He’s breathing he knows that much but it feels like he’s not, like he’s just there.

“Alex.”

He feels sick, nauseous, he can feel an anaesthetic distantly working its way through Aaron’s veins, the press of a knife.

“Alex!”

Something warm touches his arm and he jerks suddenly conscious of his body again, of Thomas staring at him with tears in the corners of his eyes and the mug of tea that’s gone cold in his hands. He sucks in a shuddering breath and leans his head on Thomas’ shoulder tucking his nose into the curve of his neck.

“He’s going to be okay,” Thomas murmurs smoothing a hand up and down Alex’s back in a repetitive motion.

“I can’t lose him,” Alex whispers the words falling out of his mouth before he can catch them. Thomas’ hands tighten around Alex as he makes a soft sound.

“I know, we won’t. Aaron wouldn’t do that to you because he knows Angelica would find a way into the afterlife just to punish him for it,” Thomas states and Alex huffs a wet laugh and buries his head against Thomas’ shoulder.

“Sirs?” an agent begins face impassive before he continues, “The coast is clear. Secretary Burr is in surgery, we can take you home now.”

“Take me to the hospital,” Alex demands sitting up straight and doesn’t sway as he stares into the agent’s face. Thomas’ hand around his arm tightens and he opens his mouth to protest until he sees Alex’s expression.

“I’ll go too, keep an eye on our Vice-President,” Thomas says in a weary tone he doesn’t really mean or maybe he does, they’re all exhausted. The agent opens his mouth to protest before he snaps his mouth shut and with a nod leads them out of the safe house and into another car.

Alex’s phone rings, some tune that he can’t remember and he digs it out and passes it to Thomas who rolls his eyes still looking shaken and answers, “Hello? Eliza, yeah, he’s fine, he’s sitting right beside me, we’re heading over to the hospital right now. You want to speak to him?” Thomas glances at Alex who nods and reaches for the phone, “Yeah alright here he is.”

“Alex, I was so worried, are you okay?” Eliza’s voice is like cool water on a sunburn and something in Alex’s chest settles with an exhale.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to lie, Alex, don’t worry Angelica and I are going to look after Phil and Ang, you just focus on Aaron okay? I’ve already called Theo so she should be meeting you at the hospital sometime,” Eliza adds and Alex longs to fold himself into her embrace.

“Okay.”

“Pass me back to Thomas, I love you, Alex, it’ll be okay,” Eliza replies and he passes the phone back to Thomas who speaks to Eliza for a few more minutes. Alex tunes it out glancing out the tinted windows into the darkness of night. The gala feels so far away, distant, like a memory.

The car jerks to a stop and a moment later the door opens. Alex takes the offered hand unsure if he can really stand on his own two feet as Thomas wraps an arm around his torso and leads him into the hospital. An agent speaks to one of the nurses at the front desk and they’re lead to a private room where a doctor steps out and announces, “Secretary Burr is still in surgery but he’ll live, we expect he’ll make a full recovery given time and if there are no complications.”

Alex sags practically melts into the chair and has to close his eyes for a minute and just tilt his head back sucking in air and focusing on the feeling of Aaron alive, knocked out with the distant twist of pain but alive.

The door to the room opens and Theo enters her mascara is running and her hair’s a mess, when she sees Alex, she lets out a tiny sob. He’s on his feet and folding her into a hug before he thinks about it inhaling the faint scent of lilac.

“He’s going to be okay, he’ll live,” Alex tells her gently and her arms tighten around his chest as she buries her head in his shoulder with a sob. He holds her through it before guiding her gently into one of the uncomfortable waiting chairs. Thomas threads his fingers through Alex’s and he leans his head on Theo’s shoulder and counts the minutes.

Alex jerks awake a while later to the sound of the door opening, its one of the nurses, she looks tired and worn. The first rays of sunlight are peeking through the window as she states, “He’s out of surgery if you’d like to see him.”

Alex rises slowly to his feet and gently wakes Theo; Thomas waves them both off blearily mumbling about coffee. The nurse leads them to a small hospital room and Alex's heart stops in his chest when he sees Aaron lying prone on the bed, bandages wrapped around his chest and a heart monitor keeping time.

He settles into the chair on one side and lets Theo take the other as he reaches out and takes Aaron’s hand gently stroking his fingers over his soul mark. Alex exhales and buries his face in the hospital bed for a long moment.

Aaron shifts and he glances up and catches sight of hazy brown eyes, they slide lazily from Alex to Theo and back before Aaron sighs and slips back into unconsciousness. Alex shudders and leans over Aaron to press a kiss to his head before he settles back into his seat.

“Mr. Vice President, the President is here,” an agent says in the doorway a short time later staring at Alex with something soft to the normally apathetic faces. Alex nods and reaches across the bed to tangle his fingers with Theo, presses a kiss to Aaron’s head and follows the agent down the hallway.

The agent presses a steaming cup of coffee into Alex’s hands and he tips his head in thanks. It tastes disgusting but it's hot and it's coffee. They enter the same private room where Washington is speaking quietly to Thomas.

“Alexander,” Washington says gently upon noticing his arrival and folds Alex into a tight hug. He sinks into the embrace for a long moment, lets himself believe that everything’s okay before he pulls back running a hand through his hair with a tired sigh.

“Do we know who’s behind it?” Alex asks leaning against Thomas when he steps beside him.

“So far, our reports are extremists angry over the new amendments,” Washington states clasping his hands behind his back for a moment before his shoulders slump and he rubs a hand over his face and continues, “You have today off but I’m sorry Alex we’ll need you in the office tomorrow, especially to release a statement.”

“I’ll be there sir,” Alex promises even though a part of him never wants to leave Aaron’s side, wants to sit in that uncomfortable plastic chair until his bones mould and he feels one with it. Washington nods settling a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“I know you will, I’m going to go see Burr, Alex takes some time to go home before work tomorrow,” Washington adds pressing his forehead to Alex’s for a moment.

“I’ll make sure he does sir,” Thomas adds tangling his fingers with Alex’s.

Washington nods and leaves the room a few agents following behind. Alex collapses in a chair and stares at the tv in the corner which is on a news channel proclaiming _Secretary Burr shot in Attack on Charity Gala_.

“Fuck,” Alex groans thinking for the first time today about the political fallout. Thomas hums in agreement and passes him a croissant. Alex leans his head on Thomas’ shoulder as he munches on it. Whatever happens in the next few months they’ll be there for Aaron.

“He’ll be okay, we’ll be okay eventually.”

X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I really wanted to play with the idea of Burr feeling he had to make it up to Alex by literally taking a bullet for him. I know there could probably be some stuff about recovery but these are just snapshots and if y’all really want I’ll write a part two. I'm not sure when the next chapter will come out, its been giving me a bit of trouble but hopefully in the next week or so. Anyways, comments are always appreciated till next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, we are here with the next chapter! This one is kind of an alternate idea I had for Keep Counting that I wanted to explore, kind of similar to another fic. Also, if I’m being stupid about certain stuff (I’m abled) please let me know, I try my best to be respectful. Anyways, read on and enjoy!

“Isn’t there supposed to be someone else?” John asks as with a final grunt he places his luggage on the bed he has claimed and glances over his shoulder where Lafayette is carefully organising their things by colour. Hercules grunts stepping into the room with his final piece of luggage.

“Heard they got moved cause the dorms don’t meet Accessible Design standards,” Hercules replies pulling out a box full of sewing supplies. Laf tilts their head to the side confused and Hercules adds, “They might have a cane, or could be visually impaired and face it this building isn’t built to accommodate their needs.”

“Do you think they could be another reincarnate?” Laf asks because they’ve all already had their moment of recognition out in the hallways, suffice to say there were lots of tears mostly from Lafayette, and John hasn’t really stopped grinning since.

“Maybe,” John says thoughtfully glancing around the room before he adds, “We’re already three for three.”

“Do you think Alex is here?” Laf asks softly and John has to pause and take a moment to glance down at his luggage thinking about what he’s read, about what happened to Alex. It’s stuck somewhere inside his head the first time he read the words and understood what they meant _Alexander Hamilton died in a duel against Aaron Burr in 1804_.

There’s silence for a moment before John sighs scrubbing a hand over his face and says, “He has to be. Somewhere.”

“We have time,” Hercules says and that’s the end of that discussion as they move to discuss the café down the street which Laf swears has absolutely enchanting pastries. John glances down at his luggage and promises to himself that he’ll find Alex again; he never got to say goodbye.

Angelica is in the library pouring over a few texts for her class tomorrow. It’s only the first week of class but Angelica has a few questions about Mr. Waters’ lecture on the Revolution, she may have lived through history but its different hearing about it from a historical perspective.

Rolling her shoulders, Angelica leans back in her seat and lets her eyes scan the library, she’s promised Eliza that she’ll be back before it gets too dark and there are still a few soft rays of light slanting across the shelves and onto the floor.

There’s someone in a wheelchair staring up at a bookshelf with a resigned expression. Angelica tilts her head studying them for a moment before she rises to her feet and after making her way over there asks, “Do you need any help?”

The man in the wheelchair glances up at her, he has dark eyes, long brown hair, and tanned skin. He smiles and its almost achingly familiar as he replies, “Sure, I can’t quite reach the fifth volume of _Treatises on Politics_.”

“Oh, are you taking Mr. Waters’ class? It’s one of the recommended texts,” Angelica replies as she passes the book into his waiting hands. He glances at the cover for a moment before he nods.

“Yeah, I wasn’t able to attend class yesterday and was hoping to catch up on what I might have missed,” the man replies and then he blinks and adds, “I’m forgetting my manners, I’m Xander, nice to meet you.”

“Angelica, nice to meet you as well. And no worries, you didn’t miss much he mostly just talked about the course load, what to expect, the usual,” Angelica replies studying Xander for a moment and she can’t help but wonder.

“That’s good to hear, I was worried we would have a paper due tomorrow, I know its irrational but well whoever said the mind was rational anyways,” Xander jokes with a grin and Angelica can’t help but smile back.

Xander checks his watch with a frown and glances at the faint beams of sunlight before he states, “Regretfully, I must make my departure, rolling across campus during the dark isn’t quite as fun as it sounds.”

“If you’d like I can walk to your dorm with you? My sister made me promise to be home before dark anyways,” Angelica offers with a warm smile and a part of her, the one that doesn’t offer to walk a stranger home is confused, but well the rest of her is rather intrigued.

Xander studies her for a long moment searching for a hint of pity before he smiles and replies, “The company of such a beautiful lady? How could I say no? Just let me check out this book and then we can brave the outside world.”

Angelica follows him to the front desk tugging at her sleeves where the curl of one of her soul marks is visible as the librarian checks out the book with a sickeningly sweet smile. Xander rolls his eyes and then proceeds to roll out of the library asking, “Does your sister often impose curfew?”

“Not usually, but it’s been quite a few years since we’ve all seen each other so I can understand,” Angelica replies with a shrug thinking of Peggy staring at them both with tears in their eyes, of Eliza refusing to let go, even Maria is a nice addition, like she’s always belonged.

Xander hums with a smile as they roll down the path and replies, “I’m an only child but I know what you mean.”

“What are you studying Xander?” Angelica asks as they pass a few students sharing a bottle of wine on the bench singing softly.

Xander glances at them for a long moment before he replies, “Political Science and Law, history when I have time. How about you?”

“Political science,” Angelica replies and then adds, “You certainly have your hands full.”

“I don’t mind, keeps me busy, not like I’m going to become an Olympic runner,” Xander jokes and slows to a halt in front of a squat building with one floor and a ramp leading up to the door he tilts his head and adds, “This is my stop, thanks for walking me home I appreciate the company.”

“Glad I could offer it and it got me out of the library before my sister could yell at me,” Angelica replies and they stare at each other awkwardly for a moment before she adds, “Goodnight, Xander I’ll see you in Mr. Waters’ class.”

“Night Angelica, get home safe,” Xander says softly and she turns and resists the urge to glance over her shoulder into those dark eyes once more. Instead, she forces herself to think of what colour she wants to paint her nails with Eliza.

Thomas is leaning against the wall waiting for the door to open and glancing at his phone when he hears the sound of wheels rattling against the floor, its irritating and his lip curls as he observes the person in the wheelchair. They have brown hair, brown eyes, and tanned skin, before he’s really thinking about it, he says, “So, they’re just letting anyone in here now?”

The man rears back as much as one can when they’re in a wheelchair and with a frown says, “That’s rich coming from you, have a problem with me being in a wheelchair?”

Thomas frowns and his eyes flicker of their own regard to his own skin and it brings up that itch again, the guilt that’s burrowed itself like acid through his veins, and the sense of maybe not wrong but certainly not right. It’s a nasty feeling and so of course he acts equally nasty.

“Actually, more along the lines that it’s obvious from your accent you’re an immigrant, I’m just surprised is all,” Thomas responds and watches the man’s expression twitch into something hurt before its quickly smoothed over.

“Ah so you believe in the superiority of America I should have guessed from your fashion sense, news flash asshole, immigrants helped build America,” The man replies narrowing his eyes at Thomas and not even caring about how he looms over him.

He studies the man for a long moment, he’s heard the rumours about other reincarnates but he’s only met James and Angelica so far. Still he can’t help but wonder, can’t help but taunt, “And I’m sure you know all about that. Do you know who I am?”

“Oh my God I can’t believe you’re pulling that card. And I probably know more than you even if you lived through it,” The man states jutting out his chin and there’s a fire in his eyes that is almost achingly familiar and Thomas’ fingers brush over his mark, the one he was only gifted with in this life.

“I’m Thomas Jefferson so actually I’m pretty certain I know more than you,” Thomas replies glaring down at the man who laughs.

“Don’t lecture me about knowing more, you didn’t even fight in the war, you wrote the Declaration of Independence and yet were a complete hypocrite,” The man responds echoing words from a lifetime ago even as Thomas’ flinches back his stomach twisting into knots and he feels like he’s slipping into a panic attack when the sound of heavy boots on the floor makes themselves known.

“What is the meaning of this?” Mr. Waters asks with stern frown and narrow eyes studying the two of them.

“Just a friendly argument,” the man in the wheelchair replies and the Professor makes a sound and with a shake of his head unlocks the door to the classroom. Thomas slips inside and finds his seat from the day before next to Angelica. He watches with narrow eyes as the man in the wheelchair parks himself at the front of the classroom.

Angelica slips into the seat beside him a moment later and notices his glare as she says, “I suppose you met Xander.”

“Is he?” Thomas questions softly as Professor Waters fiddles with the projector.

“I don’t know, I-he seems so much like him but if he is, he doesn’t remember,” Angelica replies with a sigh pulling out her laptop as they both stare at the back of Xander’s head. That’s how the rest of the class passes, Thomas listens and writes notes but his eyes don’t stray from the back of Xander’s head.

After class, Professor Waters, or rather Washington calls Thomas and Angelica to his office. He watches Xander roll out of the classroom and can’t help but wonder.

They all finally meet up at a bar, it’s early in the evening and it’s empty for the most part, the last touches of sunlight shining onto the wood and making it golden. Maria glances at Peggy and feels her heart stutter in her chest at the way the sunlight catches on their curls, they’re speaking to Angelica who looks equally gorgeous in a rose knit sweater. Eliza catches her staring and shakes her head with a fond little smile.

It feels like everything’s been building up to this for a while, little run-ins with everyone, Angelica sharing a class with Thomas Jefferson, Peggy meeting the Marquis, Maria has a yoga class with Dolly Madison and Martha Jefferson. And now, they’re all finally meeting up together.

Peggy spots the group they’re looking for first, all clustered at a table. Maria can see three people there already, one with dark skin and curly hair tucked behind their head, another with dark skin but their hair shaved close to their head, the third with curly hair and a wash of freckles.

“If it isn’t the Schuyler siblings,” one of them, the one with freckles, says and Maria ignores the strange pang her chest always gives at that. Angelica shakes her head with a roll of her eyes and pulls out a chair for Maria and one for Eliza before settling down.

“Maria this is John Laurens, Hercules Mulligan, and the Marquis de Lafayette, but just call him Lafayette,” Eliza states with a kind smile (she seems to be made of them) and then adds, “Everyone this is Maria Clements.”

“Nice to meet you,” the one with short hair, Hercules greets with a kind smile and Maria digs through the blurry remnants of history lessons long passed until she recognises their names. She tips her head in greeting and watches as Peggy counts the sugar packets on the table.

“Any idea if Washington is showing up?” the man with freckles, John, asks squinting at the entrance to the bar for a long moment before he glances at Angelica.

She frowns and shakes her head as she replies, “It’s unlikely he can’t really be seen socialising with students otherwise, well you know how it is right now.”

The Marquis pouts staring down at the table for a long moment before Hercules taps their shoulder and passes them a drink, they pout but take it anyways. Peggy passes Maria a drink and she grins in thanks staring for a moment at the way the last dredges of sunlight catch on the yellow of their t-shirt.

The door to the bar opens and Maria glances over her shoulder to watch as four people pick their way over to their table. One of them has an afro and dark skin, the other is broad-shouldered with short frizzy hair, one of them has short hair and is wearing a suit, the other is in a dress with dark curly hair and a hooked nose.

“Evening y’all,” the one with the afro greets and adds, “For those not in the loop quite yet, I’m Thomas Jefferson,” he points to the other man, “James Madison, and our lovely wives in a past life Marty and Dolly.”

Another round of introductions follows as they crowd onto the seats, the one named Marty sitting on the other side of Angelica where Maria can see the sharp profile of her face. There’s silence for a long moment as they place their orders and stare at one another, the last pieces of a century long past.

Finally, John Laurens sighs scrubbing a hand over his face before he asks, “I assume those of you who are Alexander’s Soulmates all have matching marks now?”

Maria, who only met Alexander Hamilton briefly, watches everyone’s reactions instead. Angelica frowns her fingers drifting to her arm, Peggy studies the table for a long moment before they nod and Maria has heard in the middle of the night over a bottle of tequila how they died, how he was at their side.

“That’s how it seems to me,” James Madison responds glancing at Dolly for a long moment before his eyes search the table. The others nod some show off their marks such as Hercules and the Marquis but the others don’t.

“Which means he has to be here somewhere right?” John Laurens states tipping his head in thanks when the waiter brings back a tray of drinks and some fries. Maria sips at her own drink and glances across the table at Dolly and Marty who as far as she can tell aren’t Soulmates with Alexander.

“I think he is,” Angelica states quietly and the attention of the group is suddenly riveted on her as she inhales and continues, “But I don’t think he remembers. There’s a student on campus, his name is Xander, he’s in a wheelchair-“

“I met him,” Thomas Jefferson interrupts ignoring Angelica’s frown as he continues, “Sure as Hell argues like Hamilton.”

“He’s also studying Political Science,” Angelica finishes and takes a long sip of her drink. Maria gently leans against her shoulder and feels Angelica untense slightly.

“Do you think?” The Marquis asks staring at John and Hercules for a long moment.

“It’s possible,” Hercules replies and then adds to the table at large, “We were supposed to have a fourth roommate but they had to be moved because the dorms aren’t quite up to accessibility standards.”

“Hold up, has anyone even seen Xander’s forearms? If he’s Alex he’ll have the marks,” Peggy states trailing a finger through the condensation on their drink as they glance around the table. Everyone shakes their heads and they continue, “Well we just have to see if he has his soul marks and we’ll know.”

“But what if he doesn’t have them?” James questions softly and then adds, “In our past life we didn’t match. Maybe it’s somehow become reversed.”

“Then he should at least have mine and John’s mark,” Eliza states with a frown and doesn’t mention Aaron Burr.

“So, we what, just give him hints and hope he remembers?” Thomas drawls staring around the table with a dubious expression.

They frown and Maria thinks it’s a valid point, most of them remembered naturally in the past few years and if he hasn’t remembered there’s probably a reason. Lafayette frowns placing their drink down they ask, “What if he cannot remember? Sometimes we repress traumatic memories no?”

“I remember,” John protests with a frown that’s full of hurt as he turns away from the table for a moment. Hercules reaches out to rub a careful hand over John’s spine even as Lafayette flashes him an apologetic smile.

“Then we’ll become friends with him and hope. It’s still Alexander, and I don’t want to lose him again,” Eliza states and her eyes are blazing with a passion that Maria hasn’t seen often enough. Angelica nods reaching over to clasp her hand over her sister’s.

“It’s a plan then,” John states and then adds with a frown, “Has anyone met Burr yet?”

They all shake their heads and Angelica comments, “If Alex is here then Burr will be too.”

After that, the conversation shifts to something lighter, catching up on old friends, comparing the past and the present. Maria can’t help but wonder where Alexander Hamilton is and if he even realises how many people are waiting for him.

“Is that him?”

Eliza asks where she’s walking hand in hand with her sister, it’s a beautiful day for October the skies are a clear blue and the air is crisp but not cold. Angelica shifts glancing across the green lawn where Eliza can see someone in a wheelchair sitting at one of the tables the College leaves out, she’s seen a few with chessboards inlaid into the material.

“I think so. Why don’t we go say hi?” Angelica tilts her head and Eliza nods reaching up to fix Angelica’s scarf before she follows her across the lawn. Closer she can see dark eyes, long dark hair, and tanned skin, as he hunches over a textbook.

“Xander,” Angelica greets settling onto the bench across from him and tugging Eliza down with her. The bench is cold even through her jeans as Xander blinks and slowly, meanderingly like a turtle might glances up from his textbook.

“Oh, Angelica hello, and who is this lovely lady or otherwise gendered being?” Xander greets smiling at her and its almost the same smile and she could get lost in his eyes.

“My sister,” Angelica states with a knowing grin glancing at her with a raised brow before she glances back at Xander.

“The one who’s been imposing curfew?” Xander teases closing his textbook and setting it aside as he rolls his shoulders.

“The very same,” Angelica agrees nudging Eliza with her shoulder.

“I’m Eliza, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she greets extending her hand. Xander’s eyes crinkle and he takes her hand shaking it gently before he sets them on the table.

“And what brings you two lovely ladies out and about this fine day?” Xander questions glancing first at Angelica and then at Eliza.

“We decided on a walk, might as well enjoy the pleasant weather while it lasts,” Angelica replies and Eliza shakes herself and then proceeds to scold herself for staring at Xander searching as if she could see under the sleeves of his sweater.

“I know what you mean winters in New York are nasty,” Xander replies with a shake of his head.

“Oh, were you born in New York?” Eliza asks tilting her head to study Xander.

He shakes his head and with a wave of his hand replies, “Nah in the Caribbean but we moved here when I was young to get better treatment and physio.”

They both stare at him for a moment and he notices. Xander glances away from them and stares at his hands for a long moment before with a sigh he adds, “I was born disabled, my parents tried to make the best of it you know?”

“That must have been difficult,” Eliza says softly wanting to reach out and comfort him. God she’s missed Alexander it’s been so long, longer than fifty years now and her heart still hasn’t managed to forget how much she misses him.

“Yeah, it’d be nice to say you can’t miss what you never had but that’s bullshit,” Xander replies with a shrug and then adds, “Oh well, I’ve survived, I’ll keep surviving.”

They’re silent for a moment, Angelica and Eliza sharing a long glance before her sister states, “Well I have some positive news at least,” Xander perks up and she continues, “I’ve found one of my Soulmates, she’s actually our roommate.”

“That’s great, congratulations!” Xander states with a genuine smile and then adds with a tilt of his head that is achingly familiar, “One of?”

“I was lucky to be blessed with a few,” Angelica replies and with a wink shoves up her sleeves, she can see Maria’s mark and Alex’s. Xander tilts his head and his expression is open and soft before he glances at Eliza with a raised brow.

“Just the one,” She admits with a smile and moves her own sleeve so Xander can see Alex’s mark. Her breath catches in her lungs as she waits for some sign of recognition in those dark eyes but there is nothing just a warm smile and it hurts.

“I have quite a few myself,” Xander admits with a shrug and tugs up one of his sleeves revealing the Bill of Rights along with what Eliza thinks might be the Revolutionary Quartet’s marks and maybe Washington’s.

“You’re quite blessed,” Angelica says almost neutrally even as she locks eyes with Eliza something _happy_ to her eyes that Eliza can’t help but respond to. Xander shrugs glancing at his marks for a long moment.

“Haven’t met any of them yet as far as I can tell, but my mom always said it was a gift,” Xander replies and Eliza wants to scream because she knows on his other arm are their matching marks.

“You still have plenty of time,” Eliza replies with a kind smile that doesn’t quite manage to hide how much she wants to scream or maybe cry. Xander nods and smiles apologetically when his phone rings.

“Sorry, I have to go I’ve got a meeting with my guidance counsellor,” Xander states and with a wave tucks the phone into the crook of his ear and his textbook in his backpack. They watch as he wheels off in silence for a long moment.

“Why doesn’t he remember?” Eliza can’t help but asks and then adds, “How can’t he? He has the Declaration of Independence on his arms.”

“He’ll remember, give it time,” Angelica says softly tucking Eliza under her arm like she used to do when they were kids. Eliza exhales staring across the lawn and wondering what it’ll be like when he does remember, what it’ll be like to have him back again, his words, his eyes, his heart, even if he’s changed, she promised to be there in sickness and health and she will be.

Xander glances down the street, it’s still early enough in the evening that he doesn’t need to head back to the dorms quite yet, the little study group that he had joined has just finished and he glances at the tiny café with a soft smile. It’s just off campus a stuck-in-the-wall little place with frankly delicious pastries and the barista (?) is super welcoming and kind, they always have his coffee ready when they see him.

A lot of people have been almost strangely kind to him since he started attending. Xander isn’t sure what to make of it, his life hasn’t been kind, not really. He’s survived the hand he’s been dealt with but that doesn’t make his father abandoning them when he saw how Xander had been born any easier, or his mother dying of cancer at twelve, or his brother moving so he could take some job and support the both of them. But he’s made it this far.

Still, a part of him feels at the very least suspicious of the kindness, how welcoming so many of the people he’s met are. In a strange sense, he feels as if he knows them. The barriers he keeps up to refrain from getting hurt again, just fall apart under the face of Angelica or Eliza’s smile, even Thomas Jefferson, the ridiculous pompous asshole makes Alex feel safe in a strange sense. Maybe he’s just going insane, too many sleepless nights in the aftermath of dreams.

Dreams he can’t quite parse. Flashes of sensation, feelings, touches, people. His mom always said they were a clue, to his Soulmates, but Alex isn’t certain anymore. If Thomas Jefferson and Angelica Schuyler (he did his research) are here, then maybe he had his own past life, one that he can’t remember.

Xander glances up as a car roars past, the air is chill with the final blushes of fall and he tightens his coat around his chest glaring at it and daring it to get caught in his wheels again. He should probably head back to the dorms, if he was with someone, he might not have been so hesitant but well there’s not fun in staying out late alone. Besides, his plans for the evening which consist of writing, writing, and more writing, sounds plenty fun. Sure.

He glances up one last time down the street where a bridge stretches over a river, he’s never bothered to find out the name, and he catches sight of someone standing at the edge of the bridge just glancing down at the river below.

Before Xander can really think about he’s rolling forward, the wheels rattling over the sidewalk, which should really be repaved but with America’s infrastructure he doubts it. Closer, he can see it’s a man with dark skin in a peacoat jacket, there’s an expression on his face that is achingly familiar. Xander has seen it often enough staring back at him when he was younger, saw it on his cousin’s face before he was gone, even saw it on James’ face when their situation would really hit home every once and a while.

“Don’t jump,” He says quietly, though the words seem loud, as if magnified by the empty road behind them and the river rushing far below. The man startles his hands grasping the barrier as he whirls around to face Xander.

The man’s expression crinkles and with a shake of his head he says, “Wasn’t going to.”

He doesn’t sound very convinced. Xander frowns and rolls closer, sees the man watch the movement as he replies, “Not even a particularly pleasant way to go, you’re alive for the fall and you’ll probably have that moment of regret and then _splat._ ”

“That’s not, what?” The man responds staring down at Alex for a long moment before he shakes his head and continues, “I’m not going to jump.”

“You were just thinking about it,” Xander replies nonchalantly with a shrug and glances out across the river, on the embankment houses border onto it, along with commercial buildings and in the distance, he can see the sun sinking towards the horizon.

The man doesn’t reply which is an answer in of itself.

Alex glances back at the man and sticking out his hand he states, “My name’s Xander.”

The man’s features twist right up pain and sadness all coiled into one as with a sigh he shakes Xander’s hand and replies, “Aaron Burr.”

Xander raises a brow, the name is familiar from history textbooks, long nights on Wikipedia finding anything he could about the American Revolution. Aaron nods when he sees Xander’s expression and he can’t help but reply, “That’s tough.”

Aaron snorts but the sound quickly sounds like a sob as he runs a hand over his face and admits, “I’ve known since I was five. Can you imagine, knowing you’ve killed someone, made the biggest mistake of your life, since you were five?”

Alex frowns and shakes his head running a hand through his hair and fixing it even as he replies, “I was born like this.”

He nods at the wheelchair and Aaron’s expression twists once more something so sad and aching that Xander wants to soothe it in some way. He doesn’t know how to help with a wound so deep, so old.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I never did it was always Alexander and then he was gone,” Aaron says shaking his head gripping the railing tight until his fingers pale as he stares out at the sunset.

“There are others,” Xander replies and when Aaron glances sharply at him he continues, “Thomas Jefferson, Angelica Schuyler, a few others too I believe.”

“And you?” Aaron asks tentatively staring at Xander like water in the desert, like he is something precious.

Xander shrugs and replies, “If I was, I don’t remember. The doctors even theorized that I was born like this because of an injury in a past life, which might explain why I can’t remember anything. But who knows?”

Aaron makes a strangled sound and pales stumbling back from Xander and grasping onto the barrier to support his weight as he stares at Xander. He tilts his head confused until Aaron asks, “Do you… Why would the doctors think that?”

“Hmm oh right here,” Xander points to his ribs and pauses for a moment something is, there’s an itch at the back of his head, he tries scratching at it as he distractedly replies, “There’s a birthmark, they think I was shot. Could have been anyone though.”

“A-Xander have you always been interested in the American Revolution?” Aaron asks he’s stepped closer to Xander, their knees almost brushing against each other, it’s cold and he can’t stop shivering, he feels something bubbling up inside him collecting inside his skull thick and buzzing.

“Of course, who isn’t, it’s fascinating you know?” He replies scratching at his chin and his eyes can’t help but catch on his soul marks. How often has he spent hours studying them? Studying the words. The Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, _Helpless, Satisfied, talk less smile more._ On and on the words and sentences wrap around his arms. His mom always said they were a clue.

“When was Alexander Hamilton born?” Aaron asks gently staring at him with something like horror dawning on his face.

He opens his mouth and the words fall out, “January 11, 1757.”

“What were the children’s names?” Aaron questions again insistent and his eyes in the half-light look dark, all consuming, swallowing Xander up and spitting out something he isn’t sure he’s going to like.

“Philip, Angelica, Alexander Jr., James, John, William, Elizabeth, and Philip Jr.,” Xander replies and frowns grasping at his head as it begins to ache. The flashes from his dreams are beginning to stitch together in his mind, children laughing, the rattle of carriages. Who was he?

“How did you die?” Aaron asks quietly the words are barely even a whisper.

“Weehawken, dawn, I-I aim my pistol at the sky.”

“Wait,” Aaron says quietly and oh, oh God. It all clicks together, the dreams, the reason he’s in a wheelchair, his soul marks, his Soulmates trying to get him to remember that he’s… his name is Alexander Hamilton.

Alexander glances up from his hands, there are tears dripping down his cheeks as he stares at Burr, at the man who killed him, who widowed Eliza. Burr is crying the tears spilling down his cheeks glimmer in the last touches of sunlight as he stares at Alexander. The man sinks to his knees in front of him and Alex reaches out his fingers cradling the edge of Burr’s jaw.

“God, I didn’t mean to. Or maybe I did. I thought you would shoot; you were supposed to shoot. I couldn’t orphan Theo. I didn’t mean to, my own Soulmate, I felt you die Alexander, and I lived with the consequences. Now, now you’re in a wheelchair because of me, you can’t walk because of me,” Burr rambles staring up at Alexander tears still spilling down his cheeks as he yanks up his sleeve and Alexander can see his mark on Burr’s skin faded to almost nothing but still there.

“Burr,” Alexander says softly his other hand reaching out to cup Burr’s jaw and tilting it upwards so they can stare into other’s eyes. And they do. Alexander absorbs the pain, the longing, the grief, the sorrow, so much of it that he can feel it all deep in his chest, that place where he’s connected to them.

His own feelings are hard to distinguish, anger maybe, but mostly its just grief. He doesn’t know what to do. Doesn’t have an answer for Burr, or for himself. He hasn’t had time to think about this, think about all that he’s lost and found so suddenly in the span of a few months, in the span of a few minutes.

“Alexander, say something please,” Burr, Aaron says and the words fall between them heavy and uncertain.

“I don’t know what to say, how to feel, Aaron,” Alexander replies letting his fingers drag gently against Aaron’s jaw watching the way he leans into the contact for a long moment before he pulls back.

“Give me a chance,” Aaron begs and then wiping at the tears still covering his cheeks he continues, “I’ll earn your forgiveness, I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right.”

“I don’t think it will ever be right,” Alex says softly the words aren’t harsh, just a truth, before he continues, “But I’ll appreciate the effort.”

Aaron glances up from where his shoulders had slumped in defeat and stares into Alex’s eyes for a long moment before he nods. Alexander inhales, feeling exhausted by everything as he says quietly, “Good you can push me back to the dorms.”

Aaron rolls his eyes and wipes away the tears as he rises to his feet and carefully settles his hands on the back of Alexander’s wheelchair, it is a sign of trust. It’s a start.

Eliza tugs Angelica into the bar, Peggy and Maria following behind their hands linked together and she can’t help but whisper into Angelica’s shoulder, “You’re sure he remembers?”

Angelica smiles, it is a radiant smile, the kind that’s been rare for so long, as she nods curling her arm into Eliza’s as she replies, “He insinuated when he told Jefferson and I to ‘call everyone together who remembers’. I think he remembers Eliza.”

She wants to believe her sister, wants to believe her so badly. It’s been so long since she’s seen him, held him, touched him. God, she misses him, she’s missed him for so long (fifty years) that the emotion has become intwined with her very being, she has been missing Alexander for half as long as she’s been alive. Loving him for longer.

The memories of Alexander have become faint, as much as she wishes they hadn’t, time is a cruel mistress. She can’t quite remember the way he would part his hair, or how his face looked when he was laughing but she remembers the sound. She wants to refresh those memories, and make new ones.

The bar is small, tucked out of the way, less of a bar and more of a restaurant with a long table at the back and Eliza can see that the Revolutionary quartet (a trio, still a trio) are there laughing with each other, a fake sort of laugh, and knocking their drinks together.

“Well if it isn’t the Schuyler sisters,” John greets with a grin and his eyes meet hers across the table, longing, oh so familiar, parched in the middle of a desert and Alexander, dear Alex is water for both of them. She pats Angelica’s arm and slides onto the stool beside John, catches the way he glances at the door nervous and uncertain.

They’re all a little uncertain. Is it the same Alexander they once knew? How has his life affected him? Will he even have room for them? Does he want to know them?

The questions have lingered parading about her mind late at night. She grins in thanks as John presses a shot into her hands, he is a good man, charming, certainly not bad on the eyes, and she can see why Alexander fell for him.

The door opens with a jingle and the whole tables freezes and some try to be subtle glancing slowly towards the doors, others are not so patient. Eliza is guiltily of the second any patience she once held has long since fled.

It’s not Alexander, but it is Jefferson and Madison, without their wives who will likely introduce themselves to Alexander later. Jefferson’s eyes scan the bar before they fall on their table and a cocky grin slides onto his lips. It’s a grin that hides uncertainty the same as them all.

They settle at the table and in turns they watch the door, every time it opens Eliza cannot help the way her heart jumps in her chest, cannot help the way her eyes dart towards the door. She hasn’t seen Xander since that study session where she tagged along to gorge herself on Peggy’s pastries. Apparently, whatever helped him remember happened sometime after that.

The door creaks open and this time her eyes lower on Alexander pushing the door open and wheeling inside, he surveys the room before he finds their group and makes his way over. She absorbs the sight of him as casually as she can.

Those _eyes_ , so familiar, and she wants to hear him speak, knows that even if he looks different (they all look different), his words are still the same. Alex pauses once he is closer, his eyes roving over them hungrily before he states casually, “It’s been a while everyone. I’m sorry it took so long for me to remember.”

There is silence for a long moment where they all stare at him before Eliza stumbles to her feet and sinks in front of him and throws her arms around his shoulders. Alexander’s arms wrap around her shoulders and he whispers in her ear, “Sorry I took so long Betsy. Thank you.”

Eliza shakes her head and presses a kiss to his cheek before she pulls back, John is on the other side of her now, and he leans forward and presses a kiss to his lips. Alexander blinks shocked for a long moment before he leans into the kiss with a tremulous, “John.”

“We get it Hamilton,” Jefferson drawls with a grin and Alexander flips him the middle-finger but pulls back and studies the table with a smile.

John goes to his seat and with a final press of her hand to his Eliza follows suit watching as Alexander settles at the table, at the front of the table where they can all see him, can watch him breathing, living, alive.

“When did you remember mon ami?” Lafayette asks twirling their glass and Alex’s eyes pause on them for a long moment before his expression twitches.

“I met Burr and just so happened to remember,” Alexander replies with a shrug and the slightest twist to his expression so that Eliza knows he’s not quite lying but certainly not telling the whole truth.

“Burr?” Angelica asks and her expression is dangerous, Eliza doesn’t doubt what she would do to the man, she feels a similar urge inside her. Aaron Burr was the man who took Alexander from her and she doesn’t think she’ll ever forgive him.

Alexander frowns and shakes his head glancing around the table once more for a long moment before he asks, “So, what have I missed?”

Jefferson rolls his eyes and the others laugh as Angelica tells Alex about Washington, about a debate club. Eliza watches her husband; watches the way he seems to glow in the presence of his friends and family. He’s back, he’s different yes, but Alexander is back and she wouldn’t wish for anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter I had fun exploring an alternate version of Keep Counting, originally this is what it was going to be and some aspects of that obviously made it into there. I don’t have any other chapters planned for this part but I’ll leave it unfinished for now. Comments are always super appreciated, if there’s anything you’d really like to see let me know. Thanks for reading!


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